Com viure la vida: “The Little Rules of Life”

Ahir va ser un dia intens. Un amic va enviar-nos un dels millors acudits del món, acompanyat d’una llista de preceptes vitals que són tot un compedi filosòfic en estat pur.

L’acudit és realment bo i em va fer esclatar el riure.  La llista em va impressionar per la seva qualitat emocional, ètica i sociocultural fins al punt que se’m va acudir “refer-la” una mica: modificant-ne algunes “regles”, nosaltres en direm preceptes,  afegint-ne algun més i reordenant una mica el conjunt.

Per il·lustrar-ho convenientment, adjunto,  *copienganxats, l’ acudit i la llista  i,  per acabar, proposo una nova llista, lleugerament retocada per mi,
—reordenada, “corregida”  i augmentada—, perquè serveixi de punt de partida per a noves aportacions que, de segur, no us podreu estar de fer.

Afegits als “Deu manaments”  bíblics que estudiàvem a classe de religió quan érem petits, tot aquest paquet podria acabar sent  una mena de “Nou Catecisme del segle XXI”.  Aplicats estrictament,  aquests preceptes podrien millorar substancialment el funcionament del món. Poca broma! 

1. L’acudit:

A professor investigating the psychology of humour says Spike Milligan was the author of the world’s funniest joke. Five years ago, Professor Richard Wiseman did an online experiment in which 300,000 people from around the world voted for the best gag. Professor Wiseman now says the winner was almost certainly written by Milligan during his Goon Show days.

The joke runs as follows:

Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his ‘phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps,

—’My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says,

—’Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says,

—’OK, now what?’

2. Lista original de   “The Little Rules of Life” ,  l’autor de les quals sembla ser un tal  H. Jackson Brown Jr.  que mereixeria ser molt més conegut.

The Little Rules of Life

Sing in the shower.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
Never refuse homemade brownies.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Learn 3 clean jokes.
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Compliment 3 people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Floss your teeth.
Ask for a raise when you think you’ve earned it.
Overtip breakfast waitresses.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say, “Thank you” a lot.
Say, “Please” a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people’s birthdays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Carry jumper cables in your truck.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of Valentine cards.
Sign them, “Someone who thinks you’re terrific.”
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say hello.
Use the good silver.
Return all things you borrow.
Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
Keep a few secrets.
Sing in a choir.
Plant flowers every spring.
Have a dog. <Or cat :)>
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids on school busses.
Be there when people need you.
Feed a stranger’s expired parking meter.
Don’t expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love.
Drink champagne for no reason at all.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Don’t be afraid to say, “I made a mistake.”
Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
Compliment even small improvements.
Keep your promises no matter what.
Marry for love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Count your blessings.

by H. Jackson Brown Jr. que en té per tant tots els drets d’autor.

3.  I aquí va la llista del filòfof H. Jackson Brown Jr.  reordenada, corregida  i augmentada pel Sani. Retocs i afegits van en lletra negreta. Fa així:

Commit yourself to constant improvement: Always think of a proposal that may improve the current situation. 

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Avoid negative people.

Be there when people need you.
Compliment even small improvements.
Sing in the shower.
Sing in a choir.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
When pissing, please DO NOT wet the toilet seat &
Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
Never refuse homemade brownies.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Remember other people’s birthdays.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Plant flowers every spring.
Learn three clean jokes and spread them worldwide.
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Compliment (at least) three people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Keep it simple.  (Whatever  “it” be).
Floss your teeth.
Ask for a raise when you think you’ve earned it.
Overtip breakfast waitresses.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say, “Thank you” a lot.
Say, “Please” a lot.
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards. (One of them can become a new Bill Gates or Steve Jobs some day).
Wear polished shoes and clean underpants.
Carry jumper cables in your truck.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of Valentine cards and sign them: “Someone who thinks you’re terrific.”
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say hello.
Use the good silver.
Return all things you borrow (even books!).
Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.

Rekindle old friendships.
Keep a few secrets.
Have a dog. <Or cat >  or a  bird of prey.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids on school busses.
Feed a stranger’s expired parking meter. (Skip this rule but keep it in mind as a good joke)
Don’t expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love  and fear that of hatred.
Drink Catalan cava or French champagne (if you can afford the latter)  for no reason at all. Spoiling yourself is wise and healthy.
Don’t be afraid to say, “I made a mistake.”
Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know”… but add  “I’ll look it up  in the Wikipedia.”
Keep your promises no matter what.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. Wow !
Marry for love or keep on being single but loving yourself a lot.
From time to time, put off the lights and light a candle.
From time to time silence your TV set  while keeping watching the program.
Believe in the benefits of plants and herbs.
Count your blessings.

 by H. Jackson Brown Jr.   recently  updated & upgraded by  Sani Girona on January 18th 2012

Feu-la vostra també i mireu si podeu implementar la primera regla que és, de totes, la més important i que a mi em sembla essencial per millorar l’espècie humana.

 

(Continua  aquí: Com viure la vida: Preceptes complementaris)

 

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Enllaços

• The Rules of Life. Expanded edition by Richard Templar
• 11 Little Rules of Life by Bill Gates
• Com viure la vida: Preceptes complementaris

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